I'm getting too normal for this shit... - justin_guber

I'm getting too normal for this shit...

At this very moment I'm at the office, stinking it up with cigarettes cos it's a sunday night and nobody's here to tell me off for it. I've just finished one piece of work due for tomorrow and am trying to decide whether I should start work on another job due for tuesday. I'm listening to XXX Hip Hop Vol.2, a pirate compilation which is sadly, not as sexually explicit as I hoped it would be. Maybe Vol.1 is.

Yesterday night, however, was a little more eventful.

After a wonderful Saturday spent with my girlfriend, I sent her home and went off to meet Debbie. She'd been at the Literary festival for the past few days and had an extra pass for me to check out some of Amir Muhammad's work, since he was gonna have a screening of some of his past work and 20 minutes of his latest film, Tokyo Magic Hour, which he hasn't finished yet.

I arrived at KLCC where I met Debbie and a friend of hers whose name I can't remember. It's either Jessica or Mary, I'm not sure which. I'm pretty sure at the time Debbie wasn't too sure either. We made our way to the Australian High Commission.

[Side note. The only other person here, Kins, is running up and down the corridor very quickly. I wonder why?]

When I got to the Australian High Commission, I could immediately feel how different I was from these 'other people'. I was surrounded by artists, intellectuals and homosexuals. Please bear in mind that I have nothing against artists, intellectuals and homosexuals, but since I'm none of the above, you must understand my immediate insecurity. I hung around close to Debbie and Jess/Mary (hehe... Jess Mary... Jesus Mary... Jesus Mary Chain... Jesus Mary Joseph I need to get out of this fucking office), clinging onto the only semblance of the world I knew.

We then made our way into the screening room and saw 'Lost', which was alright. Not really my thing, but I could dig it, followed by 'Pangyau' if I'm not mistaken.

"Was that subtlely homosexual?" asked Debbie.

"You thought it was subtle?" I replied.

[Again, I bring up the homosexuality thing. For the raving fags out there who feel like I'm a homophobic bastard who should be shot, please read my little note below after I finish this story.]

Then he showed the first ten or fifteen minutes of 'The Big Durian'. This was more like it. I've always like documentaries which were done a bit left of center, and this was one of them. Where can I get a damn copy? That sure looked like something I could get into.

Then Amir began talking about his latest film and some of his influences, these influences being Japanese experimental underground films. He showed the first part of one called 'Heaven 6 Box'.

And I thought Takashi Miike's work was disturbing.

Weird, gradually suspenseful and grating noises and bleeps played through the speakers as images of Japan, schoolboys and schoolgirls, markets and trees played on the screen. I felt like I was watching the Ring video and someone was gonna call my phone to tell me I had 7 days to live.

Then he showed us his film.

I'd describe how I felt watching it, but since experimental film is not really my cup of tea to begin with, I might as well not (except Schizopolis. Schizopolis was cool, even if I don't really get it, but I guess the reason I liked it was cos there was a character I could follow. Not images of dying fish and naked Japanese men in bath houses).

Then came the question and answer segment, and I knew right away I was definitely not among my own. Artists, intellectuals, homosexuals, whatever. One can always get along with one another in a semi-conversationalist mode if you're both on the same wavelength. I was NOT on these guys' wavelength.

I'd write more, but I'm getting tired, and I have tons more to write. So without further ado, here is,

MY NOTE TO HOMOSEXUALS WHO THINK I SHOULD BE MURDERED WITH A LARGE SILVER PLATED HEDGEHOG

I have nothing against homosexuality. I have nothing against homosexuals. I am not homophobic. But I AM a heterosexual, and as much as we dare not admit it in this intensely PC world (and I do mean Politically Correct, not the chain of computer stores in the UK), heterosexuals have an inate fear of homosexuals.

We don't mean it, but it's an automatic trigger. Only once we actually engage in conversation with a homosexual and discover that they're in a happy relationship or we're simply not his type do we relax and remove the bullet proof vest from our asshole.

It's a weird feeling that many wouldn't dare admit for fear they would appear too 20th Century, but it's the truth. I consider myself very liberal (as can be seen by my views on furry animal sex), but there are still those impulse reactions we have deep down which explains that weird look us hetero's have on our face the moment you homo's tell us your gay.

And for the record, why the fuck is 'homo' considered a derogatory term? It's only derogatory because a hetero said so, so get off my tits if I describe a homosexual as such. Do you know how much effort it is to type 'homosexual'?

To be honest, I'd like to have a good friend who just happened to smoke cock, because I like meeting people with a different point of view in life. I may not agree, but it's nice to see the world from another set of eyes every once in awhile. Plus, I'm also strangely curious.

...

NO. I'm not 'curious' as in 'curious to try homosexuality'. To quote a favorite foul mouthed character of mine from the ViewAskewniverse, "I hate guys, I LOVE pussy!!!!"

I have a ton of questions to ask someone who's toast is buttered on the other side, but I don't know any homosexuals in this country who I'm close with in a buddy-buddy-no-fucky kinda way. Like,

"How do you know who's the butch and who's the bitch? Are there signs? What happens if you pick up a guy in a bar that would rather be the fucker, not fuckee, but you happen to be a fucker too? Do you take turns?"

But, yes. This little note may have caused more trouble than good, but fuck it. Maybe I'm just another evil hetero.

Hetero. Sounds like the name of a Shakespeare character.

1.8.04 17:28

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